I have known this day was coming for 2 years, 11 months and 3 days. I’ve known it was coming since my first slightly humid, plumeria scented breath at HNL. I’ve known it was coming every time I told Grace I didn’t feel like taking her to the beach, every time I flipped on FoodNetwork instead of reading a magazine outside. I’ve known it was coming for the past three Christmases, when I would complain that listening to “White Christmas” just isn’t as festive when it was 85 degrees.
I’ve known it was coming every time I didn’t drive to the North Shore because it was too far. Every time I hated the way I looked in shorts.
I’ve known it was coming since the day Jane’s certificate of live birth came in the mail and I realized that that piece of paper and some photos will be all she has to remember that she lived here. I’ve known it was coming since one by one my awesome circle of military wives started to move away. I’ve known it every time I had island fever, every time I put off going to see this or that attraction. Every time I wished I could pay less than $4.69 for a half gallon of milk. Every time I wished it weren’t so blasted hot EVERY.TIME. I. GOT. IN.THE. CAR. I”ve known it was coming since the Air Force cut Kirk’s new orders. A polite, yet official, way of saying “You’re Happy Hawaiian Holiday courtesy of the Air Force is over ma’m. Time to return to reality”
And yet . . .
And yet this morning when the movers arrived with empty crates waiting to be filled with all of our worldly possessions, and the smell of packing paper and boxes filled my house, I felt a little short of breath. A little clench in my chest. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to wear shoes . . . and socks. I’m not ready for entire weeks, even months to go by without the sun. I’m not ready to wear a jacket. I’m not ready for my extended Hawaiian vacation to be over.
I’ve known this day was coming for 2 years, 11 months and 3 days. And yet, I’m not ready.
Jenn’s note: This will probably be my last post for a while kids. Sure, I can blog from my iPad and my BlackBerry (allegedly), but I’m not sure I’m going to feel like doing that. And I won’t be doing much cooking with the loaner dishes and one spatula I’ll be borrowing from the Air Force. Hopefully they have a coffee maker I can use. Otherwise the next two weeks will be unbearable. Thanks for reading, and hope to see you all on the other side! Off we go, into the wild blue yonder . . .